It is not only the weather that can’t make up its mind. It’s usually mid-November before I lug houseplants inside from the screened-in back porch, but I’ve already carried them in because of recent night temps in the 20s. Of course, we’ll enjoy 60s again in a few days, but those plants are inside for five months, no matter how much they miss the fresh air.
No, it’s not just the weather that’s indecisive. It’s me, too. I’ve started this essay three times. At first I wrote about having lunch with women at a meeting and how I quickly determined I needed to hold my tongue. We had nothing in common. Homeschooling? Huh-uh. One said she only taught what would be useful in life. Chemistry? I asked. Physics? Trig? French? No, no, no, and no. The memoir she was writing about her childhood, holding grudges formed by a ten-year-old mind? Oh, my! I don’t want to be intolerant of other’s viewpoints, and I am shuffling that way. I deleted that essay.
Then I wrote about cleaning gutters. Now there’s an exciting topic. Never mind that our sons tell me over and over not to get on a ladder. I take their advice about as well as they take mine.
A few weeks ago, I was at the dermatologist for a regular checkup. She sometimes finds scaly pre-cancerous areas. Did I want the salve (chemo in a tube) to put on the spots or did I want her to freeze them off? I went back and forth, then asked her to decide and she froze them. Then she said call her if one certain spot that had been frozen before didn’t disappear and needed further evaluation. Wait, what? Did being pink count? She quickly chose to see me again in a few weeks to make that determination herself.
Then there’s the writers’ conference I’m headed to. Should I skip the last two sessions so I can drive home before dark? Or should I stay an extra night? I teeter-tottered for a week on that decision, but I know the person speaking at the last session, so after more seesawing I made arrangements to stick around.
I could go on and on, but enough is enough. Or should I give more examples? I just can’t decide.
