What I’ve Learned So Far

As I’ve recently celebrated a milestone birthday (never mind which one), I’ve been thinking of all I’ve learned in my years as 2023 heads to a close.

I wish I were a more original thinker, but I’m a pretty good learner, and I’ve taken care to preserve important information I’ve gleaned from others. Stacks of notes are stored in cubbyholes in my office, and periodically I read through them and ponder.

I believe we all carry a chip on our shoulders. Some chips are huge and some are small. I was reminded of this recently when I worked out the cryptogram puzzle in the newspaper and squirreled it away with my little notes. This quote was from John F. Kennedy or his speech writer: “Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past—let us accept our own responsibility for the future.”

Leaders don’t point fingers. As a very latecomer to football fandom (Somewhere in the spirit world, Jim is saying, “What the hell, Ved? You’re watching football?”), I saw interviews after a KC Chiefs’ loss where quarterback Patrick Mahomes didn’t blame a receiver for missing a crucial catch. He said he could have thrown the pass shorter. Head coach Andy Reid said he needed to work more with some players. Both pinpointed what they could do going forward to win games.

Retired football coach Lou Holtz is noted for his leadership ideas. “Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” Wish I’d said that, although I’ve thought it in different words. For writers, all the imaginative storytelling talent in the world won’t help if you don’t actually sit in the chair and write, then revise and revise and submit.  

“Regret is worse than failure.” I didn’t attribute that quote to someone on my scribbled note, although it’s an adage I tell myself many times. Can’t hurt to try. What’s one more editor’s rejection? No big deal.

The late great Jimmie Jones’s motto was “Life’s a holiday.” I didn’t need to write that down. It’s tattooed on my heart. My go-to phrase is “Find joy in every day.”

Well, I intended for these what-I’ve-learned ruminations to be humorous—like don’t put your 33-year-old Christmas tree that looks real and holds many sentimental memories in a broken duct-taped tree stand balanced by dirty bricks or the whole thing will fall early the next morning and you can’t lift it, so in a panic-stricken voice you call one of your sons for advice at 7:00 a.m. Saturday, and although you half-heartedly protest, he throws tools in his car and he and his family drive an hour and a half one-way to help. And you end up taking off ornaments and strings of lights as you remove each branch from the pole, and instead of building a stand, you buy a new one that fits the old tree at a crowded Walmart (an option you didn’t even think remotely possible until it was suggested to you), then reassemble and redecorate the magnificent straight-standing tree. True story, but that’s too recent to laugh about. (Thanks, Marshall and Abby, for saving Christmas.)

And to all of you, have wonderful December holidays and find joy in each day.